My name is Pam Kish and I am the daughter of an adoptee, the wife of an adoptee, a “Search Angel” and a paid search expert.

When I first heard the standard definition explaining the “Adoption Triad” it left me feeling empty. Those who believe in the “Triad” believe that the only people touched by an adoption are the adoptee, the birth parents and the adoptive parents.

What happens to the rest of us who are not included in one of those three positions in the ‘triad’?

At that moment I began a one woman crusade to change the minds of those touched by adoption. In my world we have an “Adoption Circle”, because anyone who loves and adoptee, birth family member or adoptive family member is part of the “Adoption Circle”.

I married my husband, Jim back in 1975. I knew he was adopted but I was young and I loved him and it didn’t matter. I never gave any thought to the fact that my children would only have half a medical background and half a known heritage. I didn't find out my mother was adopted until I was 24 and pregnant with my second child. Now I also only had half a medical background and half a heritage. Finding her family was easy and we have been happily reunited for 30 years.

I still didn’t worry about my husband’s side of the equation until 7 years ago when my Dad and Mom were both diagnosed with cancer. I was devastated! My Dad won his battle but on March 17. 2002, my Mom lost her battle. It was then that I realized how important medical background is, and that I owed it to my kids to do everything in my power to provide them a complete background.

I went on a quest to find Jim’s birth family in Kentucky. With the help of two wonderful and giving Kentucky “Angels”, our search was short. However, while working alongside those “Angels” I got hooked on the process of search and the joy of adoption reunion. I was told that I had a natural gift for finding information and should consider helping others.

After looking around on the internet, I realized there were thousands of people that didn’t have what I had always taken for granted. I knew who I looked like and I knew where I came from. I knew what information to give the doctors and so did my husband and kids.

I became a “Search Angel”, a volunteer who helps locate those lost through adoption. I decided to specialize in Kentucky since that is where my husband was born and adopted. I do other states as well but Kentucky is my first love and my state of expertise.

When we reunite an adoptee or birth parent, we bring them back to where they started. Just like the “Circle of Life”.

Adoption touches anyone that cares about an adoptee, birth parent or adoptive parent. To exclude anyone touched by adoption and make them feel less important because they aren’t a member of the “Triad” is cruel.

I am happy to say that to-date I have solved over 700 searches in Kentucky, not including other states and anyone that mentions “Triad” to me has to listen to my lecture about the “Adoption Circle” that includes ANYONE touched by adoption.

If I touch one heart with this article and change one mind then I am that much closer to changing the way we view the “Circle of Adoption”.

Pamela D. Kish
Staff at Search Quest America