Search Tips

Search, Support and Reunion Advice

What's wrong with my OBC?

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Every day we hear from adoptees make the statement, “If I had my Original Birth Certificate I wouldn’t need to hire a PRO to help me find my birth family.  That’s a pretty common assumption in the adoption community.  However I’d like to enlighten a few of you who feel that way based on what we know ‘historic ... Read More

When You Wait Too Long:

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As licensed Family Search Investigators, the best of us have learned tips and tricks to tunnel under brick walls successfully. Remember, there are 50 states and 50 different laws governing adoption records, open OBC access or not, so we are continually learning new laws, rules and regulations because they are in a continual state of flux.  We ... Read More

DNA - and Another One Bites The Dust!

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The rock group QUEEN penned a song once that made the round of sporting events, ‘Another One Bites the Dust’, and every time I participate in or read of the success of family members finding each other through DNA research, those lyrics replay in my head and remind me that adoptees ‘are’ a resourceful group of dedicated rese ... Read More

When an adoptee SHOULD NOT Search!

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There comes a point in each adoptee's life when they begin to contemplate starting a search for their biological family.  Some adoptees start their search as soon as they legally can, others may wait until their mid-twenties or thirties or beyond.  Adult adoptees search for many reasons.  Identity, genetic and familial information, m ... Read More

Questions to Adoptees: Some Interesting Answers

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I am fortunate to have contact with several hundred adoptees, so when I am curious about any one aspect of adoption or adoption search, I always have a ready list of accommodating folks who are willing to either answer my questions or offer advice. Last week I asked the following questions: 1.  Adoptees, how old were you when you started your ... Read More

What is up with my OBC?

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Every day we hear from adoptees make the statement, “If I had my OBC I wouldn’t need to hire a pro to help me find my birth family.  That’s a pretty common assumption in the adoption community.  However I’d like to enlighten a few of you who feel that way based on what we know ‘historically’ and by revi ... Read More

Eight Steps to take BEFORE you start your adoption search!

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Each adoptee, and each adoption is different than all others based on the city, state, date of birth, agency used, and the circumstances of the placement.  There are, however, common sense steps that everyone contemplating starting a search follow, and I'd like to share what I've learned with you in hopes that it leads you to a successful sea ... Read More

Upcoming Adoption Legislation: Review and Support!

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If you are a reunited adoptee or an adoption triad member still in search it pays to keep an eye on upcoming state legislation regarding adoption reform.  The following states are in the process of either forming groups to tackle legislation, or they’ve drafted a bill and have sponsors.  If you know of any other state not mentioned ... Read More

After the First Meeting: Beware Reunion Sabotage!

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Adoptees or first parents in search spend months or years in some instances in search of the other side of the adoption equation.  Birth parents many times want to assure themselves that they did the right thing during a difficult decision making time of their lives and would like a chance to answer questions and have a potential relationship ... Read More

Considering Hiring a Pro? Things you need to know!

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What you may know (but don’t recognize as important) can save you a lot of Money? I cannot tell you how often the team at Search Quest America talks to potential clients who feel that their search is going to cost ‘thousands’ because that’s what they’ve heard search services cost, or because they have talked to ‘ ... Read More

Advice for Birthmothers in Search of an Adoptee

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First, thank you for your courage in starting a search!  Making the decision to search for a son or daughter placed for adoption is a heart tugging choice that many of you contemplate as your son or daughter reaches adulthood.  You may wish to ensure he or she is well and happy, you may wish to disclose updated medical information or fami ... Read More

The Surprises in my DNA

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(Kelly) (Mica) Over a year ago a friend and co-worker, Patty, encouraged me to learn all I could about the newly emerging field of DNA Adoption Search because, as she explained to me, it’s going to be the wave of the future for adoptees to identify and connect with their birth families IN SPITE of sealed records.  Now to be honest, scien ... Read More

When God Whispers

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In each of us there is a small still voice that, if we listen carefully, connects us to a higher power. Sometimes this voice gives us guidance in day-to-day personal or family issues. In others, it provides motivation to do ‘the right thing’ for others, either in service or deed.In the search and reunion community, I’ve noticed th ... Read More

In Search of Self

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We are often asked ‘why’ adoptees come to a point in their lives that they start a search for biological family. The best answer to that question is that they are in search of ‘self’. Soren Kierkegaard said this, “Life must be understood backwards, but… it must be lived forwards”. When you are adopted and ... Read More

SQA Tips for Starting an Adoption Search in California

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One of the first things that an adoptee in search of information on his or her birth parents should do is obtain non-identifying information from either the agency (private or social services) or from the State of California if the agency your parents used is no longer in existence. If your adoption occurred in California but was facilitated throug ... Read More

SQA Advice - What is a Late Discovery Adoptee?

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The term, Late Discovery Adoptee, refers to people who discover later in life that they were adopted as infants or small children. Many of the people that we talk to here at Search Quest America who are LDA’s have been absolutely blindsided when they discover the truth about their adoptions.Most had no inkling that they were not born into the ... Read More

Search Angel Graduation - OR - So you'd like to be a PI?

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With the development of the Internet for general consumer use, online communities in the early 1990’s grew based on the desires, needs and interests of the participants. Three online services were prevalent at that time, Genie Information Systems, Prodigy and America Online. Genie was a text based service (back before graphics). Prodigy and A ... Read More

Search Quest America Tips - If you want to Reunite on TV

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It is not uncommon to hear from clients who have spent years writing in to talk shows in the hope that ‘their’ story and their search will be the ‘one’ chosen out of the probable thousands received. We’ve all seen great reunion shows on Sally Jesse, Maury Povich, and Montel Williams, and some of my favorite reunion sto ... Read More

SQA Advice for Adoption Reunion Socialization

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The journey through reunion is not unlike traveling to a foreign country where one doesn't speak the language or know the customs. Immersion into a new culture presents adjustments to climate, food, clothes, mannerisms and social rules. The experience carries imagined "should haves" that are markedly different from the often awkward reality.Reunion ... Read More

SQA Adoption Triad VS Adoption Circle

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My name is Pam Kish and I am the daughter of an adoptee, the wife of an adoptee, a “Search Angel” and a paid search expert.When I first heard the standard definition explaining the “Adoption Triad” it left me feeling empty. Those who believe in the “Triad” believe that the only people touched by an adoption are t ... Read More

SQA's Advice to Adoptees Entering Reunion

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If you are an adoptee who has initiated a successful search, you may be confused at what comes next in the reunion process. Most adoptees who start a search NEVER expect to be welcomed by the targeted birth family member. I know when I was facing that all important telephone call to my own birth father, the last thing I expected him to say was, &ld ... Read More

SQA's First Reading List for Adoption Triad Members

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Classics-------------------------Adoptive Kinship: A Modern Institution in Need of Reform by H. David Kirk.Ben-Simon, 1985. ISBN 0914539019.The Adoption Triangle: Sealed or Opened Records: How They Affect Adoptees, Birth Parents, and Adoptive Parents by Arthur D. Sorosky, Rueben Pannor, Annette Baran. Doubleday, 1984.The Other Mother: A Woman's Lov ... Read More

SQA Advice to Siblings in Search of an Adoptee

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One of our most common requests here at Search Quest America comes from siblings who find out late in life that they have an sibling that was placed for adoption. Some people are shocked that they were not told about the adoption, but most are also excited at the possibility of finding their missing family member.When you are in search of a sibling ... Read More

SQA Advice for Adoptees in Search

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If you are an adoptee contemplating a search for your biological family, the very first place to start is at the beginning, on the day you were born. Check your birth certificate.It may list more than you think. Depending on the State that issued it, the certificate may list your time of birth, the hospital, the delivering doctor's name and other t ... Read More